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Past Meetings
February 2, 2001
"S/M Yoga: Kundalini's Journey Through The Chakras"
Dr. Chakra spoke about his personal Kundalini experiences. Kundalini is the
yoga life force that is held to lie coiled at the base of the spine until it
is aroused and sent to the head to trigger enlightenment. He has lectured
over the past 10 years about "S/M Yoga" , a yoga he developed that leads the
practitioner to help his Kundalini rise through the use of S/M techniques.
His Yoga blends a number of different disciplines of traditional yoga, Tantra
and S&M.
He discussed the unfolding of Kundalini through the fetishes of each Chakra
and the psychological blocks of each Chakra. He explained the energy of each
Chakra and how to associate them with different fetishes. Kundalini yoga,
especially associated with Tantra, is based on the physiology of the "subtle
body," according to which seven major centers of psychic energy, called
chakras, are located along the spinal column, with the kundalini, or "coiled"
energy in latent form, located at the base of the spine. When the kundalini
is activated by Yoga methods, it ascends the spine through the main subtle
artery of the sushumna, "opening" each Chakra in turn. When the kundalini
reaches the topmost Chakra in the brain, samadhi is attained.
His use of S&M as a catalysis to open each Chakra was fascinating.
According to him the goal of all yogas is to be self renewing by reclcyling
ones own energy.
Thursday, December 21th, 2000
"The Psychological Aspects of Masochistic Submission"
With Dorothy Hayden, CSW
For a while, the mainstream Society has been looking upon the S&M scene as
encompassing practitioners who are considered to be mentally not well or for
that matter sane. It was refreshing to hear a professional speak on behalf
of the S&M community, with an understanding that this is about exploring
fantasies. Every human being has fantasies; some more extreme then others, Ms
Hayden immediately stated. It is unfortunate that society at large has been
educated, to believe anything, which is not ordinary, or pushes limits of
sexuality, should not be practiced.
Ms. Hayden admitted she is new to the BDSM scene. She believes that what we
do is push our sexual boundaries beyond what the society at large considers
"normal." She used a comparative example, of those who enjoy skydiving, also
push their adventure limits, beyond what many in the general population
consider the "norm." It can be inferred by her example and comments that she
respects people who push their limits while going for the "gusto" of life.
In her discussion, Ms. Hayden decided to share a little history of how we
have come to be viewed as mentally sick individuals. She made her point by
referencing Krafft-Ebing, the nineteenth-century psychiatrist who coined the
term, subsumed masochism under the broad heading of "General Pathology" in
this famous volume, Psychopath Sexualize, in 1876. Masochism became a
pathological, sexual and psychopathic phenomenon all at once.
These gentlemen went on to say: "By masochism I understand a particular
perversion of the psychical sexual life in which the individual affected, in
sexual feeling and thought, is controlled by the idea of being completely and
unconditionally subject to the will of a person of the opposite sex; of being
treated by this person as a master -- humiliated and abused. This idea is
colored by lustful feeling; the masochist lives in fantasies, in which he
creates situations of this kind and often attempts to realize them. By this
perversion his sexual instinct is often made more or less insensible to the
normal charms of the opposite sex - incapable of a normal sexual life -
psychically impotent." "It has become practically a dogma of psychoanalytic
thought that masochism is a sexual condition in which punishment is required
before satisfaction can be reached."
After giving us the above historical basis for many beliefs held by mental
health practitioners, she went to say, that until up until recently, those
who practice S&M, were considered mentally sick, just as homosexuals were
considered sick before the 1960's. However, in the 1960's, homosexuality was
deleted from the DSMIV and was reclassified from being pathology, to a
lifestyle choice. Dorothy's contention is that the same should be done with
masochism. Like homosexuality, it needs to be removed from the rubric of
"psychopathology" and be seen for what it is: a sexual lifestyle choice. Ms.
Hayden's intention is to suggest ways of understanding masochism without
invoking theories of mental illness. She is going to speak at a psychiatrist
conference, which is scheduled for this spring. At this conference she will
try to promote her positive theories as they pertain to the BDSM community.
Ms. Hayden then answered a half a dozen or so questions, before the meeting
came to an end. The meeting was informative and educational. It was a breath
of fresh air to hear someone in the psychiatric field to speak in so positive
a manner of what it is that we do (wiitwd)
Thursday, January 4th, 2001
"It Ain't All Chains and Pains", with Master Jim
It was very fitting that the very first meeting of the new millennium,
belonged to Master Jim, a spiritual man, who has contributed so much to the
leather community and TES in the past 17 years. Master Jim began the meeting
by giving everyone a little bio about himself. He described himself as a
Daddy, take-charge lover, shaman, mentor, sexual healer, world-traveler,
lover of gourmet eroticism, and women who say yes - Master Jim practices BDSM
on a level that very few do. He believes that toys are secondary, and the
thing that matters the most is the path of Eros that one walks experiencing
this lifestyle.
Master Jim encompasses all these traits and more. His accomplishments,
attained lifestyle is inspiring to all of us who grasp this scene as our
lives. The man is a real time dominant/master on the East Coast BDSM scene
for the past 20 years. In addition, he is the founder and leader of the
popular Dominant Men/Submissive Women's Group at TES, as well as a TES
Emeritus Board Member.
Having very artfully conveyed his credentials for speaking, he continued to
discuss the training of a submissive. Even the littlest things can be used as
means to controlling a submissive. One such example he gave:
"A dominant telling his submissive on the phone, "I want you to cut a piece
of your pussy hair. When you cut it off, I want you to know and feel who is
doing this for you. When you look at that bald spot, I want it to be a
reminder, who you did this for."
He went on to discuss when it is practiced on the spiritual level, there's
nothing like it. It's not about pain or pleasure, but about the metaphysical
chemistry that takes place within oneself.
He then proceeded to give another example:
"As the sub is blindfolded, she hears her master using a bell to lead her.
She tunes in every single one of her existing senses to the sound of that
bell. She trusts her Master completely knowing that he will lead her but not
harm her. She does not need to know where she is going, but just to trust she
is being lead."
Master Jim then alluded to the physical aspect of S&M. He stated, "The
physical part is easy to pick up". "You can go to workshops, and learn how to
use the floggers, the canes, the paddles, etc". "However you may not know as
a dominant how the submissive feels when you see these toys, but you will
know how to use them."
He then added, "the thing that separates good dominants from the so-so
dominants, are the ones who are able to play on that spiritual level." He
feels one of the problems is that many dominants do not ever go to and
practice at these levels.
Master Jim maintains that the most intense, satisfying applications of BDSM
for both the participants should not just involve physical pain, but also the
emotional and psychological aspects that touch the soul. In addition, he
believes many masters do not understand that one of their functions is to
give women who want to be submissive, permission to pursue their submissive
side.
One of the more thought provoking questions asked by someone in the crowd
was:
"We already know what the submissive gets from the scene, but what does the
dominant get from it?"
Master Jim answered:
"He gets a rush of power knowing that he has been given that control and
total trust from his partner. One cannot experience that in the mainstream
world."
This meeting was extremely educational and thought provoking in a sense that
we saw a topic which is so often forgotten, yet is one of the most important
aspects of the entire S&M world, and that is, "The Spirituality"
DomSubFriends Hellfire Meeting January 26th,
By: Lady Seven Vexx
Topic - "Piercing and Cutting the correct way."
This meeting had a record-breaking turn out. There has until now never been
so many interested persons at one meeting concerning any topic so far
presented.
Before the meeting started, we saw Seven's Demo helper, Willow. We knew then
this was going to be a special meeting. We'll talk about him a bit later....
Lady Seven began the demo meeting, by distributing an informative 5-page
handout to the members of the audience. Each page explained some aspect of
the topic she was discussing:
1) the layers of skin
2) The spinal cord area
3) different needles diagram
4) Body map
5)areas to avoid piercing
Lady Seven's rules on cutting is as follows:
Cutting the first 2 layers of the skin (Epidermis and Dermis), will not leave
permanent scars.
The bottom may have a mark for a couple of weeks or months, but it should go
away eventually. However, the moment you cut into the 3rd layer of skin
(Hypodermis), this will leave a permanent scar.
She also explained, the areas which have a large supply of blood going
through, such as the tongue for example, will heal much faster. Therefore,
if someone has a pierced tongue or an ear lobe, and takes the jewelry out
for as little as 2-7 days (depending on the hole), it will make the hole
close down, due to the fact, so much blood is in that area. The opposite also
holds true, the less blood supply the area has, the more time it needs to
heal, an example being an area which has a lot of cartridge.
Lady Seven also described and exhibited different types of piercing and
cutting instruments, ranging from needles, to cutting implements morticians us
e (ouch). She explained how to use each instrument properly.
She also cautioned that a 15-degree angle is the deepest insertion angle one
should ever use in play piercing. Another cautionary note she stressed was to
check needles for factory defects. This is a often over looked safety aspect.
Needle size was also covered. She explained, the larger the gauge of the
needle, the thinner the needle; inversely the smaller the gauge number, the
thicker the needle.
Lady Seven also covered safety information pertaining to hyperventalation,
hot/cold flashes, deep wounds. Another important thing Seven pointed out,
that the person should never have cutting done when dehydrated. Make sure
everyone is well feed and had plenty of fluids.
Alcohol and drugs should not be used before a piercing session, as it does
harm to the levels of blood in the system.
She described different areas to avoid cutting because they may leave
permanent scaring. Areas to avoid are the face and neck, the entire spinal
area (because nerves are there), chest/breast, elbow, inner wrist, palm of
hand, penis, front and back of knee, and lower part of leg (near heel). All
these are no-no's in cutting.
Well, after explaining all do's and don'ts, the demo Lady Seven then gave her
demo. Willow, who volunteered for the demo, seemed to come straight out of a
movie. If anyone has seen the movie, Strange Land, with Dee Snyder, they will
get a sense of what I'm talking about. He had 30 piercings in his body. It
was a sight to behold. His brows, tongue, nose, chin, nipples, all were
pierced. We were also informed he also had piercings in areas that we did not
see. This very handsome spiritual young man, with long dreadlocks made
ladies, and some males in the audience perspire with lust.
Seven demonstrated her needle play on him, inserting 7 long needles into his
back. This masochist enjoyed every moment of it. You could see it in his
face, the enjoyment he was feeling as needle by needle was going thru his
skin. Having finished the needle play, Lady Seven demonstrated, some none
permanent cutting techniques on Willow's back.
After, the demo there was many questions from the audience for both, Lady
Seven and her model - victim et al., As previously mentioned, this was like
no other meeting we have ever experienced.
An additional bonus for DomSubFriends will be on March 16, as Lady Seven will
be back to give the 2nd part of this meeting, "The Advance Piercing and
Cutting."
Date: Friday, January 26th. Speaker: Master Michael of Paddles
Topic/Demo: "Spanking-On the endangered list"
Michael, the proprietor of Paddles, has been in the BDSM scene since the
1970's.
He opened his discussion by talking about how he got into spanking as a young
impressionable boy. He wasn't sure how he really got into it, but immediately
knew it was a pursuit he really enjoyed.
He stated that, spanking to him is like no other S&M activity, because he
feels it is the closest physical relationship that exists in the scene. Both
people are near each other, and touching constantly it is happening. Both the
spanker and the spankee are simultaneously experiencing the same physical
contact. This closeness he feels generates a certain bond between the spanker
and spankee.
Michael described at one time, when people used to attend an S&M club, there
were at least 6-8 spanking sessions going on at the same time. In the past
decade, this form of play has disappeared from club arena of play.. He blames
it mostly on "the egos" of dominants, because it's so much "cooler" to take a
fancy whip, or an expensive cane, and show it off in the clubs. He used a lot
of tongue n cheek antidotes to poke fun at this perceived phenomenon. This
quips were extremely entertaining to the audience as the laughter indicated.
Michael is very passionate about the Art of Spanking and it's perceived
decline in the public scene arena - hence the name of the topic, "Spanking-on
the endangered list."
As the meeting progressed, a Master and a submissive came to the stage, to
demonstrate the art of correct spanking. It was beautiful to see, the
beautiful female submissive lay over the Master's lap, as he began spanking
her lightly, and slowly progressed to heavier spanking. You could see the
passion in their eyes, as this transpired.
After about 15 minutes into the scene, a very attractive Mistress took over,
as the submissive went over her great looking legs. By this time, the sub was
already warmed up. As the Mistress was spanking the submissive, you could see
the pleasure the sub was having. She was close to Nirvana from all of this
loving attention to her shapely by now bright red bottom. Lucky girl!
Michael is a terrific speaker, who explained that one should start spanking
very slowly. It's advisable to let the skin sends messages to the brain, that
hey, "were in danger." In return, the skin sends out the protectors, "the
endorphins" to protect that area from getting hurt. After a while, all those
endorphins flowing, makes the area numb, and the submissive cannot feel that
you are actually spanking her hard. The endorphin flow actually turns all of
this into a very erotic experience.
The audience asked questions many thought provoking questions. Thus another
exciting meeting came to an end. Most of the attendees stayed behind for the
rest of the evening motivated by the talk and the demo they played their
proverbial butts off.
Date: Friday, February 9th, Paddles meeting.
Speaker: Sir Barry and Gina
Topic/Demo: "Erotic How Wax"
Sir Barry and Gina make a terrific couple. This writer has seen them on many
occasions, and it's a pleasure to see such a special relationship within our
community.
They brought with them a very creative idea for wax play. A crock pot. Yeah,
the same crock pot our mom used to make delicious dinner in. They set it up
before the meeting, so this way, they would not have to waste time, waiting
for the candle wax to melt. Sir Barry, puts candles inside the crock pot,
plugs the cord into the electric outlet, and sets the temperature to 110
degrees.
He says you can turn it on as high as 140 degrees, but not higher, as it can
cause burns.
A bit about the crock pot later.
They began the meeting describing different type of candles. What candles to
use, and what candles to avoid. What proper distance to keep the candles away
from the body, in order to avoid unnecessary burning.
The proper candles to use are paraffin candles, without dye. As they do not
have ingredients, which may cause burns to the body.
The candles to avoid are they type that are known as bees wax, as they have a
very high melting point, and hence can cause burns. Aromatic candles and
Christmas type candles should be avoided for the same reasons their high heat
melting points.
In order to play with wax, it is necessary to put down a couple of plastic
cloths, since playing with candles can be very messy. Also, if one is playing
with a hairy male, it would be wise to put some baby oil on the hairy
portions of his body, so this way, the wax comes off without pulling he hair
out of his body. Of coarse this step can be avoided if the top gets enjoyment
from slowing pulling the wax and hair off, while listening the blood curdling
screams.
Sir Barry said, that originally Gina wasn't into wax play. In fact she was
afraid of it. These days, it has become one of her favorite activities.
Step by step they explained how to properly begin a hot wax scene.
First, plastic sheets were put on the bench that Gina was lying on.
Underneath that bench, there was a plastic sheet as well.
Barry began dripping individual candles on Gina. It looked so erotic. Quite a
few people in the audience had their blood pressure increase from watching
dripping candle wax falling on this beautiful lady's gorgeous curvaceous
body. Ah the mere thought of that sight still sends hot flashes through the
writer's body. As she was stretched out, Sir Barry proceeded to drip candle
wax on Gina's organ between her thighs. It looked so sexy, as Gina wiggled
from pleasure.
Now we get back to the crock-pot. As the wax was melted by now inside the
crock-pot, Sir Barry dipped in a ladle and filled it with wax. He then
proceeded to put all of this on Gina's body, one drop at a time. It was
splashing all over the body.
To top it off, Barry put on a vinyl see thru headgear on Gina's head, which
covered the entire head area. He then made her sit up, and dipped into the
crock-pot again, and began spilling the wax onto the vinyl headgear from the
top. The wax was dripping over her head and face; yet, she only felt the
warmth thru that vinyl mask.
It was the first time; most of the audience had an opportunity to witness
such a display of wax play.
Sir Barry then proceeded to remove the wax from Gina's body, using his hands,
and later 2 different knives, one resembling a small machete.
At the conclusion of the hot scene (on pun intended) the audience took
advantage to ask many questions. Barry and Gina graciously answered them one
by one. This another really great hot educational meeting at the
DomSubFriends Society.
There were 90+ people in attendance. Most stayed at Paddles to play after the
meeting concluded.
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