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Dear Ms Kinky
Dear Ms Kinky,
I have crust on the rings daily. I wash them with antibacterial soap and use
astringent on them, but they don't seem to be healing.
I would appreciate any help I can get...
Dear Friend:
Answered by: BadBobBikerDom@aol.com
ALL new piercing will secrete a gooey, sticky fluid called lymph. This will
dry up and form a ring of crust on the jewelry at the piercing's holes,
making moving the jewelry painful. Soaking and cleaning this lymph DAILY (or
as the buildup requires) is necessary to avoid any problems with bacteria
populations.
NEVER handle a new piercing with dirty hands! Wash hands and fingertips well.
Avoid any introduction of foreign bodily fluid to the area (sweat, blood,
saliva, etc.)
Do not harass the piercing's healing process by wearing constrictive clothing
or allowing repeated bumping and knocking around the jewelry.
Use caution when swimming during healing; poor water quality and high
bacteria presence will infect your new piercing. Some people will run
Vaseline or Neosporin liberally through the hole prior to a swim in order to
seal off the exposed tissue temporarily. In this case, soak well with salt
water and clean immediately afterwards.
Listen to your body's reactions to various products. Some ingredients
commonly found in skincare products can irritate the vulnerable tissue in new
piercings. Eliminating variables in product exposure will often solve
occasional irritation.
Don't remove the jewelry until well after the piercing is completely healed.
Once healed, a piercing is permanent, although when the jewelry is removed,
the displacement will cause the hole to shrink, making jewelry reinsertion
difficult without first gently stretching the hole back up to size.
New piercings heal the best when the aftercare products do not interfere with
the cell regeneration process. Products like ALCOHOL and PEROXIDE are not
recommended as they often harass the newly healing cells. Salt water is by
far the least-reactive and most effective cleaning solution. Bacitracin Zinc
is one of the best antibiotic ointments. Some people have also successfully
used Bactine, Betadine, Hibiclens, Benzalkonium Chloride, Campho Phenique,
and D-Alpha Vitamin E oil as part of their cleaning regimen. No product is
universally good for all types of skin, except salt water.
Be aware the average healing time for woman's nipples is 12 to 14 weeks.
It is also wise to go to the person who did the piercing, as he/she
encounters problems such as this one.
Dear Ms. Kinky,
In response to the question you posed, ‘What qualities does a male Dominant
look for when choosing a submissive to serve him’, allow me to add my own
thoughts on the matter. Let me stress that these are MY thoughts and MY
feelings and may or may not conform to those of any other Dominant, Master,
Daddy or Top on the face of Planet Earth. They are mine alone and are the
guidelines I use in the practice of my life..
After seeing your question, I went back to try and find a long letter I had
once penned on the subject. In it, I answered just that question but it
appears to have rolled of into oblivion long ago. And while I had thought I
had saved it for posterity, it appears that in a previous cleanup it went out
with the trash. So I will give it my best shot and try to put my thoughts to
paper once again.
I don't have a long list of specific items, as they tend to vary from
submissive to submissive. What's appropriate for miss x and me, for
instance, may not be appropriate for me and miss y. In general, I look for
several qualities and I will try and pass those along.
First and foremost is honesty. It is what I offer and demand nothing less in
return. I will sever contact immediately with someone who lies to me. I am
perfectly capable of accepting the truth about anything. I may not like, YOU
may not like my response, but it gets dealt with and we move on to bigger and
better things. Deceit is something that has no place in this lifestyle, even
innocent deceit.
The second is integrity. I require that my partners, at any level of
involvement, maintain a level of integrity that does not leave me open to
surprises and allows me to take pride in the way they conduct themselves.
The third is devotion. While many of the women I am involved with have busy
lives, they take the time to make themselves available to me and I make the
time to be there for them. I will walk that extra mile to assist someone I
care for. I am the person you want to call when you NEED someone to be there
for you. I expect the same kind of devotion in return.
The fourth is obedience. I have been in this lifestyle for a long while,
have a wonderful and rich sense of intuition that has stood me well, and do
not enjoy being second-guessed. While I will allow a submissive enough rope
to dangle with should she decide that she 'knows' better than I do, this gets
old rather quickly and I have little patience for being tested time and
again. I assume and accept the responsibility for the safety of the women I
accept into my life and expect them to cede me that right and privilege.
This holds true for the women that end up being submissive to me as well as
those that I accept to mentor. If she cannot accept the fact that I am being
objective and have only their best interests at heart, then maybe you need to
seek out someone else.
Fifth and maybe foremost is intelligence. I don't care if someone is book
smart or not - although I do much prefer women that I can converse with on
many levels other than D/s. I cannot and DO NOT condone stupidity or lack of
intellect and seek out those that I can respect and relate to on an
intellectual basis as well as any D/s or BDSM levels. Submission takes on so
much more of a meaning when given willfully, intelligently and as the result
of a conclusion reached through logical reasoning and thought.
All the other usual traits, tolerance levels, physical appearance, play
preferences etc. carry far less weight in my decision to take on someone. I
DO NOT train, I educate and guide. It is so much more than a semantic
difference between the terms. Training is accomplished through the brute
force method of repetitive action - education is a process that requires
formal thought and the integration of detail 'A' and detail 'B' to allow one
to logically come to conclusion 'C'. This is what I offer and what I demand
in return. While I clearly have little desire to be with a submissive that I
find physically or emotionally revolting, these play little in my decision -
no more or less than they would in any vanilla relationship I might enter
into.
As to your second question, What should a submissive seek out in her
Dominant, I would say much the same things I have listed here. He must also
be someone you can find yourself trusting with your safety. That trust that
allows him to put a blindfold on you and run a knife across your neck,
scaring the shit out of you but with you knowing in your heart of hearts that
you will come out of the experience safely and sanely.
He must inspire passion in you - Passion for the lifestyle, Passion in the
way He interacts with you, Passion in your sensuality and sexuality. While
each D/s relationship has unique and differing dynamics, some elements of all
these are present and they need to click - you have to feel empty when you
are not with Him - even if it is only a secondary relationship filling a void
unfilled in your primary. Passion is what it is all about - and that does NOT
mean sex. Anybody can fuck a submissive and make them cum - THAT is not
Passion. Passion is when your Dominant can make you want to cum just by his
look alone - not saying it is actually gonna happen - but when you feel that
you WANT to, you know you have arrived.
Go out there, seek carefully, don't be afraid to explore and DON'T be afraid
to say NO. Any Dominant of character will respect that as part of the
discovery process between Dominant and potential submissive. And, as the
phrase was once uttered on Hill Street Blues – Please be careful out there.
Sir Saul
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