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| Is love necessary for a successful D/s relationship? |
As Tina Turner says "What's love got to do, got to do with it?" I think love has a place in D/s but is not necessary for a successful D/s relationship. It depends on what you want from the relationship. To me a D/s relationship exists when there is a power exchange between two people. One controls the other submits. I don't see why love needs to be an ingredient for a power exchange.
Where love does come in is when you are looking for a lifetime relationship. If you want your Dom or sub to also be your partner, then love fits into the equation. To sustain this relationship over time you need to be compatible and I think eventually fall in love. I think submission is deeper when the submissive is in love with her dominant.
However a drawback of love in the d/s relationship, can be lenience by the dominant. Perhaps he isn't as strict or demanding because he is in love with his slave and wants her to be happy and/or satisfied most of the time. When a D/s couple are in love, I think it could harder for the dominant to focus on discipline and he has to remember that hurting his sub or making her do things that only he likes is part of his control and her submission.
Another type of love is the feeling of love in a parent/child, a nurturing kind of love. I think in many ways a D/s relationship is like a parenting situation. The dominant controls through authority and discipline. Of course the sexual aspects are not that of a parent/child with the exception of age play. But the similarities are in that the dom molds the sub to the dom's specifications. The sub is his creation.
Who she becomes is a result of how he guides her. The Dom protects the sub and takes care of her. I think a love grows between the partners in the D/s relationship even when the intention isn't for the happily forever after kind of love.
So, I think love enhances a D/s relationship, is necessary for a lifelong partnering, but it not necessary.
In any kind of D/s situation you will find many different types of "love." Does one have to be someone's sexual partner or even someone's primary partner to have love for them? I don't think so.
I love my sub and want the best for her. I love the "out-of-body" look on her face when we play and I am taking her above and beyond her physical limits. I love the women that is inside the body and have deep affection for her. As my property I want what is best for her -- is that not an aspect of love as we understand it in the vanilla vernacular?
Our primary goal in this relationship which is I am Owner And she is sub is mutual explorations of desires/fantasies/power exchanges
It is a delicate dance that must be played out carefully. One can love and Dominate at the same time whether love and BDSM mix, think of it this way: Our play is a form of love making and it even often results in some form of orgasm- mental, physical, or metaphysical.
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